Amy Leighton is an experienced presence coach and self-confidence mentor, and we invited her to share her wisdom with our collective. Here she reveals all of her best tips to give yourself the boost you need, so show up and get visible in 20210 and beyond. Over to you, Amy…
From looking at visibility with value to channelling our energy and nerves in a way that will benefit us, I will explain the 1% rule. Read on for more about this rule, but it’s one of my favourite things to build habits and help us get visible.
Working with women on their self-confidence, I want to highlight three things to equip them with critical tools to help them get more visible.
Whether you are right at the beginning of your journey, need to brush up on your skills, or whether you are an experienced Pro at being visible for your business, all of these tips apply.
Let’s get visible
Firstly, let’s get visible. For some reason, whenever I am, whenever I use this phrase, I always get embarrassed. Now there’s that song that goes, “let’s get visible. Visible is noise. Let’s get physical, physical.” But what do you mean, Olivia Newton-John? I don’t know. When we are thinking of visibility, it’s essential to clarify what this means.
Back to the basics and build a solid foundation. When I use the word visibility, I refer to the act of showing up and putting your face to your brand or your business.
For example, speaking to the camera on Instagram could be doing stories, doing lives on Instagram, or Facebook Lives. It could be doing podcasts. There are so many different ways to get visible, and we can put our face to our brand or business. The reason why this is important is that more than ever, we are craving that human connection.
Gone are the days of beautifully curated captions, doing it justice. Gone are the days of beautifully put together grid feeds being enough. Gone are the days of us just being able to hide behind words and our products. What people want now is the human connection behind the product or the service that they’re buying.
People buy from people.
So, if we are not showing up for whatever we’re offering, we’re doing ourselves a disservice. We need to establish how we can help ourselves get visible in a way that feels good for us.
What is holding you back?
More often than not, something holds us back from showing up and allowing us to show up in the way that we want to. There’s this ubiquitous buzzword now, and I don’t like using it, but it’s true. And it’s the word authentic.
What is holding us back from us showing up as ourselves in the way that we want to? What is that, and nine times out of 10, it will be something along the lines of “I’m worried about what people are going to say about me.”
For example: “I’ve just turned my Instagram profile over from private to business. I’m worried about what people from my old corporate job are going to wonder about me.”
Perhaps you have “shown up” once before, and you didn’t quite have the engagement that you wanted to. So there’s a minor niggle that maybe it’s not the most effective way to connect with your audience.
What is holding you back? What is it that is stopping you? It might also be that when you do show up, you feel it’s all got to be perfect, and you’ve got to know what you’re saying once we start to assess that we can work from there. Then we can begin to say “Okay. Well, if something here isn’t working for us, how can we start to reframe that? And how can we start to change it so that we do show up in the way we want to?”
Reaffirm your values
Now, Queen Brene, aka Brene Brown, says integrity is choosing courage over comfort.
You choose what is right over what is fun, fast or easy. And you decide to practise your values rather than simply professing them.
I’m bringing this into play here because when we see people going live or see people getting visible in their business, we often hold the perception that people are confident. We often have this belief that people know what they’re doing, and they’re smashing it, while “I could never be like them”.
Most people are feeling some sort of nerves. But, if we can lead from a place of integrity, if we can lead with our values in mind, as opposed to doing what everybody else is doing, we will come across so much more effectively.
If we follow what others are doing, while it may work for them, it might not work for who we are in the situation we’re in. So it’s essential as part of our background work that we tap back into our integrity and lead from courage. And that we realise that actually, we’re in it for the long game.
What is the point of having one successful live session and then not working again? If we can lead from that place of integrity, if we can lead from a place of our values, then we will feel so much more confident with the content that we are putting out there and showing up as ourselves.
What are your values? For example, mine are kindness, honesty, openness, being supportive to people and showing compassion. So for me to show up, if I’m showing up and I’m telling people, “you have to do this, you have to do that”, that’s not me leading from a place of integrity. Now, I’ve done that previously. If you scroll right back through my Instagram feed, you’ll see me doing that because that’s what I thought I had to do to be successful.
When I am showing up online, I am holding that space for those people who want to be there and myself, and I am kind to myself. Whatever happens, is going to happen, and we’re all human. If I completely fluff up, it doesn’t matter. If no one turns up, it doesn’t matter because I never know who’s gonna be watching on replay. But if we can start to drill down into what our values are and lead from there, we will feel so much better about it.
Channel your fear into something good
Once we’ve started to tap into those values, we need to think about how to channel that energy. I’ve got my values, I’ve tapped into them, I have a vague idea that I’m gonna hold this space and that I’m going to keep this space for myself and the people who want to come and join me.
“But oh my goodness me. I’ve got all these nerves, and my hands are shaking, and I’ve got a dry mouth, and I can’t quite get myself to press that like button.”
If that is the case, remember this quote: fear is excitement without breath.
That means that when we are nervous or when we feel fear, and when we’re excited, we get that same rush of adrenalin. It’s how we use it that will make all the difference. So, for example, if we’re nervous, we like to breathe from our chests. However, if we can then start to take some deep breaths into our diaphragms, we will calm ourselves down, and we’re going to begin to lead from that place of excitement. Equally, instead of telling ourselves, “I’m nervous, I’m nervous, I’m nervous,” let’s start to think “, I’m excited, I’m excited, I’m excited”. Nothing happens overnight, but if we can begin to do this practice regularly and be consistent with it, we can change that fear into excitement.
On a scientific level, we will start developing those new neural pathways within our brain. Then we will allow ourselves to begin to feel better about showing up because we understand the need to channel that energy effectively.
Becoming 1% better every day
With the idea of being confident and having some consistency behind it, and creating those new neural pathways, I want to introduce the book Atomic Habits by James Clear. It is a fantastic read, and I would highly recommend it. He talks about this idea of becoming 1% better every day. It refers to the little habits you start to bring into your day to day routine, no matter how small. This idea of atomic habits is based on a book called Tiny Habits by BJ Fogg.
Both books talk about making a tiny habit or identifying something small you can change. These changes will not take a tremendous amount of time, and they won’t feel like a giant leap. But it’s something that you’re going to be able to do day after day after day. It’s going to help you to become 1% better.
As you can see, by becoming 1% better every day for the year, we’re going to have a huge impact and change.
So what can we do?
We should practice: “I am excited”, instead of “I’m nervous”. Equally, it could try jumping on somebody else’s Live video. We could share a little comment or even try taking part in a session. If you want to appear on someone’s Q&A or talk to their podcast, go and ask them! These actions will come about due to the little minute actions that you can repeat every day that will come together to make a difference.
So my last question to you is: how can you get 1% more visible every day? The question is: how can you get 1% more confident about becoming visible every day?
Amy is also a valued member of the Creative Impact Collective and offers so much advice. Jump into the collective for more goodness and connection.